BALLZ! Express Yourself With BALLZ!

Kevin Federline has been a perfect gentleman throughout his divorce from Britney and has been extremely cautious not to reveal any details about his ongoing custody battle with the disgraced princess of Pop. He has, however, supposedly confided in one person who happens to be far from a “lady.” Nicole Narain who is best known for her involvement in a sex scandal with wild boy Colin Farell, took it upon herself to voice her current man’s concerns for the safety of his children, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Almost certainly paid for her interview, she reveals all the sordid details on why the couple split.

On what Kevin has told her about Britney’s mental state: “Her mood swings are now so wild that I live in fear of getting a call telling me that she has killed herself. I can’t allow her to have custody because I seriously believe she could harm our sons. I’ve shared her life and I know she’s capable of anything with pills and a few drinks inside her.”

On what finally ended Britney and Kevin’s marriage:
“I’d see her walking around the house guzzling vodka and Coke and looking very tipsy. Then a few moments later, I saw her pick up Jayden and start breast-feeding him. That sent me up the wall. I yelled at her, ‘If you really wanna drink then make sure the baby gets bottled milk, not yours.’ I was terrified she was poisoning my son. But she wouldn’t listen. She never would. She treated me like one of her employees who bowed to her every whim. She screamed back, ‘You can’t talk to me that way!’ But I had to stand up for my children as well as myself. Two weeks later she filed for divorce. I only found out when I heard it as a news item on the radio. I felt she was just trying to teach me a lesson for telling her off about the breast-feeding incident. But when I called she kicked off another row and screamed, ‘You’re nothing without me’. I never wanted a divorce but now I knew there was no option.”

On Britney’s bi-curious pass at Nicole:
“I was doing my make-up and I could feel someone staring at me. It was Britney, in a green dress and looking a bit spaced-out. She looked at me in a provocative way… I thought she was hoping to get me closer to her. When I told Kevin he nodded and said, ‘Knowing her, she probably was’.”

The authenticity of this story is questionable to say the least, but then nothing about Britney surprises us. However, there are a couple of questions to ask yourself here:

• Why haven’t we heard of this so called girlfriend before?

• The language seems oddly pretentious. Why would Kevin use the word row, meaning argument (which is a British expression rarely heard in the U.S and doesn’t exist in Kevin’s vocabulary of yo’s and yall’s)?

• News of the World, an unreliable source responsible for publishing this story happens to be an English tabloid newspaper….What does that tell you?