BALLZ! Express Yourself With BALLZ!

While Brit was making an ass of herself at the VMAs, Kevin Federline celebrated by throwing an early birthday party for his two sons.

Personal assistants were seen picking up banners, balloons, and an ice cream cake, all in the theme of the animated movie Cars! Brit’s parents stopped by for the party at Kevin’s San Fernando Valley home, joining about 20 other guests.

Days after her disastrous performance at the VMAs, Brit-Brit could no longer avoid the embarrassment of facing him. On Sep. 12th, the two exes arrived separately at her laywer’s office where they discussed their ongoing custody battle.

The unscheduled meeting took place on little Jayden’s first birthday! And speaking of birthdays, today happens to be the day our man Sean Preston turns two!

So what does mommy have in store for them? Apparently another performance to cringe over when they turn older! As unbelievable as it sounds, Britney’s camp is reportedly in talks to get her back on stage to torture us further on the Emmy Award show. Her appearance is yet to be confirmed, but Brit supposedly can’t wait to show us what she’s made of!

UPDATE: Whew! We can breathe a sigh of relief! Britney Spears‘ people have confirmed that she will not be performing at the Emmys tonight.

Fed up of being hounded by the paparazzi and being picked on by every gossip rag in the country, Britney Spears is considering fleeing to London to escape all the madness. In an effort to blend into the local population, Brit Brit is even considering pulling out her pretentious English accent!

A friend said: “She thinks her only hope is to move to London for a fresh start. “She is so scared about losing her boys that her mind is racing trying to think of how to keep them. “Britney thinks she can arrive in London and blend in with the locals. But she doesn’t have a clue how to write a cheque.”

And while we are on Britney, Life & Style claim to have heard a few songs off her album and is really surprised at how sorrowful they all were. “Every day I’m in a daze, looking for that someone,” she sings on one track. “I sit and kneel and pray. Oh sweet love…why do you desert me?” Click here to hear it.

We have to say it sounds like nothing we’ve heard from Britney as yet. The song has a more mature sound to it, but it’s still unmistakably our Britney!

Numerous of magazine covers and a list of screw-ups later, we can safely say that Kevin Federline is pissed off with Britney Spears‘ crazed ways. Mark Vincent Kaplan, KFed’s lawyer, filed papers yesterday after his client decided to pursue primary physical custody of the kids.

The former couple share 50/50 custody, but over the past few weeks, Kevin is growing increasingly worried that Britney is exposing the boys to “unnecessary risk.”

We cannot stress enough how much respect we’ve gained for Kevin Federline over the past few months. No longer failing to impress us, he’s envolved into a caring father who makes every effort to give his children a normal life. With that said, we leave you with Us Weekly’s Britney Spears story of the week:

Matt Encinias, a 21-year-old college student went from being an extra in Britney’s latest video to pounding drinks and locking lips with the now divorced mom just hours before her children were to be dropped off at her home.

Brit’s boys were due to come back at noon due to her custody agreement with KFed, but that didn’t stop her from getting down and dirty at a hotel at 2am. She asked for the pool to be re-opened and invited some more male extras along with her now former assistant Shannon Funk. As per Matt:

“Britney was the first one to undress, and then everyone else followed. I turned around and saw that she was topless and she had fake tattoos of flowers on her nipples from the shoot.”

“I was told all she wanted to do that night was kiss a boy. And that’s what she did. Mission accomplished.”

More sordid details from Matt given to The Sun:

“I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on. She was looking like she was ready - and I wanted to finalise it.”

“She straddled me and put her legs around me. When I started kissing her I did everything in my power - from my previous experience of kissing girls - not to mess it up. Britney had more drinks - she was having Jack and more Mojitos in between me feeling her up, her boobs, and kissing her on her neck.

“Her body was very nice. It was sexual and sensual kissing. It took some effort to perfect. She is a great kisser - I’d actually say a phenomenal kisser.”

He was planning to spend the rest of the night in her bed — until one of his friends collapsed and Brit’s bodyguards ordered Matt to take him home.

That pesky Kevin Federline is rumoured to getting back with the girl he dumped for Britney - Shar Jackson.

K-Fed, recently divorced, gave actress Jackson the elbow three years ago in favour of Britney, when Shar was pregnant with his kid.

But despite the situation in which Kevin left Shar, his faithful ex was on hand to celebrate his 29th birthday in Vegas, where the Federlines were especially glad to see her.

“As soon as his parents got to the club they immediately went to Shar’s table on the other side of the club and hung out there for a while,” a source tells People magazine. “They were taking photos with her and catching up. It’s pretty easy to see that they still care about her.”

The mother-of-three has apparently, had a makeover including a tummy tuck and a boob lift, to get rid of her post-baby stretch marks making her current hot property.

(Source)