BALLZ! Express Yourself With BALLZ!

Big surprise! In the first week of its release, Paris Hilton’s self-titled CD, Paris, is being widely considered by many music insiders to be a complete and utter failure. With only 75,000 copies sold in the United States, next week’s projected sales are said to drop significantly to 30,000. Because "Paris" is fading away at the bottom of Billboard’s Hot 100, Hilton’s label reportedly rushed to release her second single. "The international outlook is not much better for her," an insider told PageSix. "The international people are not inclined to do a big push since she can’t back up the album with a tour. Obviously, she can’t sing live." The source added Paris was advised a year ago to do some voice training and learn an instrument to prepare for a small tour, but "obviously" she didn’t listen.

In other Paris news, Cher’s son, Elijah Blue Allman, told Howard Stern the other day that he did the deed with Paris Hilton before she was famous and that he was extremely worried that he may have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from her. He said that the two met up, got down to business and as soon as they were done he raced downstairs and scrubbed his privates with a household cleaner to "disinfect" them.